A delightful piece in The New Yorker turns a resume cover letter into an ode about the applicants love of Microsoft Word.
Eli Burnstein’s humorous article opens with:
“Bold and italics are the oils that grace my palette.
Cut and paste the strings upon my lyre.
Fonts, bullets, columns, indentations—these stubborn materials are no match for the alchemy with which I extract meaning and impose order.
For I am proficient in Microsoft Word.”
Not just Word, but also Excel …
” Excel’s boundless rectangles yield themselves to my whim as I sort columns and freeze rows like a rational demigod.”
He claims proficiency in Word only after checking with Word itself and confirming his loyalty to all things Microsoft – even Bing 😊.
“… a definition I found using Word’s Smart Lookup feature (which is powered by the world’s greatest search engine, Bing)”
Check it out in full at The New Yorker.
